Subconscious assumptions that men make… and women don’t.

What is different in a man’s head? Different from a woman, that is. This is such an interesting question and one that is necessary to answer for any woman that wants to get ahead in the world and for any man that wants to understand why women do what they do.

Many of my friends have their husbands coach them when it comes to the professional world, asking for raises, promotions, making proposals, etc. Women are told to think more like a man. But what does that mean? We are not men so we have no native instinct for thinking like a man.

I have been pondering this, observing and asking questions for a few years now. I have come up with ten ways of thinking that are typically male thoughts. Most women do not think these things. It may benefit women to learn to think like this, or at least act like they believe these things until they actually believe them and are able to act accordingly.

I have test marketed this list with men and women in all aspects of the business and church world and in all age groups.  The most common response was a knowing laugh.

So here goes.


1)  My point of view/opinions are valued.

2) I am wanted as a team member.

3) I am welcome at the leadership table.

4) My questions will be answered.

5) My ideas are important.

6) If I lead someone will follow.

7) I can show up as my true self. I do not need to alter myself to be acceptable.

8) People will notice if I drop out of the conversation.

9) I become more valuable as I age.

10) I will be fairly treated financially.

There you have it! What do you think? What would you add to this list?

The Rock of Confession

The Cascade vegetation faded from lodge pole pine into fuzzy Douglas fir, dazzling us with it’s mysterious beauty! So pristine was this forest that one would hardly guess that there was a human touch on the land but for the asphalt winding ahead of us and the occasional signage reminding us that we were driving the Over the River and Through the Woods Byway.

We had been driving for about an hour when we rounded a sharp curve and there abutting the highway was a rock that was about twenty feet high and maybe fifteen feet wide. It was adorned in Technicolor graffiti. The sight was so contradictory to it’s surroundings that I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I wondered what kind of events had brought the writers all the way out into the wilderness to emblazen their comments on this rock for all to see.

Was it joyful celebration or love? JD + RM, Class of 07!…

Was it a need to confess? I Love David…

Was it depression? This is the End…

Or were they seeking out connection? For a good time call Sadie…

It seems that it was all of this and more. Each contributor had come out to confess in some way and the Rock had received their confessions.

I began to think about a few people in the Bible who traveled into the wilderness and ended up at The Rock. Moses went to Mt. Sinai to replace the Ten Commandments that he broke after the Golden Calf incident. Moses was not down with the party! Elijah went to Mt. Horeb (Sinai) after he called fire down from heaven and his pissed off enemies were in hot pursuit. Abraham went to the mountain to sacrifice his son at God’s request. They all needed a God connection of some kind.

If graffiti was in vogue in biblical times what would these guys have confessed to The Rock? Here are some possibilities:

Moses: “These people are idiots! I should never have taken this job!

             For a good time don’t call  the Israelites.”

Elijah: “Uncle! I am undone.”

Abraham: “LOL, really?

              The wife is going to kill me for this!”

I wonder if any of these guys were as baffled about life as I am. Their encounters at The Rock seemed to sort things out for them.

Often I cannot make heads or tails of what I am supposed to be doing. Someone once said that I would see opportunity and change when God breathes on my efforts. Well, it seems like God is holding God’s breath.

There is a huge Rock in Portland called the Grotto. It’s a spiritual place. Just like Sinai people go there to seek meaningful experiences with God. I think I will go.

What confession will The Rock evoke from me?


“My lips move but I can’t speak”


“How long will we sing this song?”

What about you? If you were to go with me, what words would you leave behind?

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